At BrilliantRead Media, we always strive to bring meaningful and powerful stories from India and around the world to empower and motivate our growing community. As part of this endeavour, we invited Sonal Sonawani for an exclusive interview with us. Sonal is an Award-winning Entrepreneur, Leader, Psychologist, Coach, Mentor, Relationship Expert, Consultant and Change Enabler. She is the Founder of CEDAR. Let’s learn more about her incredible journey, her background, and her advice for our growing community!
Excerpts from our exclusive interview with Sonal:
Could you please talk us through your background and your journey?
My journey of becoming a Psychologist started early in life. As a young girl, I have been perceptive and could observe a lot of pain and trauma around me. At the age of 14, I lost my uncle to suicide. At the time, Psychology wasn’t considered as a major career choice in India.
My uncle was battling severe depression for years and he kept it hidden behind an ever-smiling face. During the time when Engineering and Medicine were the only two major choices for most of my peers, I took up humanities to be able to serve people like my uncle.”
Since then I completed my post-graduation in Psychology from Fergusson College and went ahead to becoming an International Affiliate with the American Psychological Association.
I worked with one of the top organizations in the country for 5 years, during which time I got the opportunity to serve thousands of clients battling mental health conditions. Very soon, I became the Regional Head and then Head for Training, research and development where I could contribute on a mass scale by developing technology and designing programs to fit the needs of the Indian population.
In 2017, I started my own organization, CEDAR which stands for Center for Depression Anxiety Relationships. Since then, CEDAR has helped countless individuals struggling with mental health conditions and was one of the first organizations to offer nationwide counselling for people going through anxiety during the pandemic.”
CEDAR today specializes in Relationship counselling and is involved in tremendous research on Indian relationships and marriages. The reason, we took this direction to help people with depression, is because 75% of people battling depression and anxiety have roots in their family and spousal/romantic relationships. This is when I pursued further education from Gottman Institute, US and Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai.
In 2021, I became a recipient of the prestigious Indian Achievers Award, and have been relentlessly working in the field to create more awareness and upgrade the status of mental health services in India.
Recently, I wrote a book about toxic relationships, “Breaking Point” which will be released next month. Hence my journey of becoming an author has officially begun and this is a new direction which I’m really looking forward to.
How did you discover your passion?
My sole passion lies in helping and uplifting people from the pits of their personal misery to find love and peace within themselves. When I was a child, I have been privy to a lot of emotional suffering around me.
I personally have gone through depression and have been subject as well as witness to abuse early on in life. I realized then that I need to help myself.”
At that time, Psychologists were not easily accessible and we too were not aware of the existence of such a profession even. When my uncle died by suicide, it was a wake-up call. I realized if I have to help myself I have only 3 options – Seek external help, Wait till I grow old enough to understand life better, or Study in depth and gain awareness from there.
Throughout my journey of becoming a Psychologist, I met several angels who did help me through my wounds.
My passion and conviction come from a personal space where I believe if I received help and could overcome my challenges, so can everyone.”
How do you manage to keep going despite the challenges? What drives you?
I believe challenges to be an opportunity. I remember setting up my business twice till now.
Being a solo woman entrepreneur was enterprising, yet difficult. The people and experiences you come across can be quite hard to manoeuvre. I have faced betrayals, financial instabilities, image-smearing campaigns, and the list goes on. What drives me is the knowledge that my integrity, expertise and perseverance are high! I believe in myself strongly.
Life has been generous and I plan to take it all non-wavering in my passion to do what I have set out for.”
My husband, Pratik and daughter Ahillya are my two pillars of strength. I receive undying support from both of them, and that keeps me grounded in reality while having the ability to dream bigger and better each day.
Who do you believe has been the biggest source of motivation in your daily life?
The answer is simple – My daughter, Ahillya.
I observe her everyday, learning each day, being curious, expressing her emotions unconditionally, figuring out ways to solve problems in her own way, and asking for help when she doesn’t find answers, caring for me and those around her.
I see so many qualities in her that I find my own self in her image. She reminds me who I truly am and keeps me in check. I see her and feel she deserves the best version of me. That is what motivates me to do better each day!
What are some of the strategies that you believe have helped you grow as a person?
Consistent self-evaluation and acceptance of my personal flaws and failings with humility is what helps me grow as a person. Many times, our egos come in the way of personal development. I do not allow my ego or arrogance to come in my way. There is room for growth for all of us in all areas of life.
Accepting criticism constructively has helped me a great deal as well. People don’t like criticism and feedback. They take it personally and negatively. I keep my thoughts and actions in check. Whenever someone criticizes me, I do not take offence. Instead, I understand where the other person/people are coming from, and if their criticism can add any value to me.
I only surround myself with people who have a value add in my life. I stay away from people who complain, blame, gossip and speak only negatively about others/themselves/the world. You won’t believe how much this has helped me grow. Surrounding myself with change-makers, believers, optimistic and doers has only helped me learn more and add perspective to what I understood or believed to be an absolute fact or truth.
In your opinion what are the keys to success?
The first key to success according to me, is Discipline. I truly believe that discipline is important to keep yourself from making decisions based on a whim and to be consistent in what you do.
The second key to success is the courage to do things that are non-conformist. When we follow what everyone around us does blindly, we deprive ourselves the opportunity to achieve ones true potential to be great. To be successful one needs to have the chutzpah to challenge existing systems and beliefs.
The third key to success is offering your best version to people who are buying your service/product. Excellence is key! There are millions of people offering the exact same thing that you are.
What makes you stand apart from the crowd? To achieve excellence, you need to constantly upgrade yourself. As a habit, I read everyday about my subject matter and keep studying and practising till I achieve expertise.
What advice would you give to our readers?
The only advice I want to give readers is “Surrender”.
Surrender to what life is offering you, surrender to the harsh realities of life, surrender to yourself.
In surrendering, you can let go of anger and frustration. Surrendering does not mean that you do not challenge your circumstances. It means that you accept what is and are ready to challenge from a position of peace and strength rather than anger and hurt.
Last but not least, what about your journey makes it satisfying/exciting?
There was a story I read a long time ago. There was a rich man who needed a driver for his son to pick up and drop him from school. Every day this driver would come, he would take the kid to school, they would drop by for some snacks on the way.
The driver would always politely smile and personally thank each and every person who worked at that café. When they would reach the school, he would smile at the guards and thank them while leaving. He would do this every single day, and finally, the boy asked him, “why do you have to smile and thank everyone everyday? My father never does that.
He taught me to not engage with too many people.” To this, the driver said, “When I smile at one person, he smiles back. When I express gratitude, it makes him feel good. In turn, he smiles at his customers and thanks them. The customers then smile at others and make others feel good. This is how one person can change the world.” This is the multiplier effect of my work.
When I help one person heal their trauma and hurt, they find peace. They share this peace with others who are suffering. The chain continues. When I help even one single person out of having suicidal ideation, I can see a potent shift in the individual. It is life-changing.
I have atleast 20 such examples of past clients who have made it their mission to be of help to others. Others who didn’t enter the industry, but in their own way, helped close ones out of their personal trauma, did so, because they have gone through their journey of healing. By helping, 1 person, I have indirectly helped thousands. This is when I decided to write my book and begin my journey as an author. I truly believe that it takes only 1 person’s kindness to change the world.
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