At BrilliantRead Media, it is our constant endeavour to identify and share inspiring stories of individuals who are making a meaningful difference in people’s lives. As part of this initiative, we are delighted to feature Payal Jhamb, an Identity Coach for Women, who helps wives and mothers reconnect with themselves, reclaim their voices, and pursue their dreams without guilt. Through her work, she encourages women to embrace their individuality, strengthen their self-worth, and create a life that honours both their relationships and personal aspirations. Let’s learn more about her background, journey and her advice for our community!
Excerpts from our exclusive interview with Payal:
What inspired you to become an Identity Coach for Women, and what is the story behind your journey?
My journey has been about recognising the importance of understanding ourselves and living authentically. I realised that many women, especially wives and mothers, spend so much time fulfilling their responsibilities that they gradually lose touch with their own dreams, desires, and identities. This inspired me to help women reconnect with themselves, recognise their worth, and create lives that feel fulfilling to them.
What does losing one’s identity look like in everyday life, and why do so many women experience it?
Losing your identity doesn’t always mean losing yourself completely. Sometimes, it looks like constantly saying yes when you want to say no, suppressing your opinions to keep the peace, or feeling guilty about prioritising yourself.
Many women grow up believing that being a good wife or mother means putting everyone else first. Over time, they forget to ask themselves what they truly want and who they are beyond their roles.
Many women feel guilty when they prioritise themselves. How can they start choosing themselves without feeling selfish?
Choosing yourself doesn’t mean choosing against your family. It begins with giving yourself permission to acknowledge your needs, desires, and emotions. Start small by expressing your opinions, setting healthy boundaries, making time for activities you enjoy, and pursuing dreams you’ve postponed. Remember, guilt doesn’t always mean you’re doing something wrong; sometimes, it simply means you’re doing something unfamiliar.
How can women maintain their individuality while balancing marriage, motherhood, and family responsibilities?
Women must understand that they are more than the roles they play. Being a wife or mother doesn’t mean giving up personal growth or individuality. It’s important to continue nurturing your interests, dreams, and sense of purpose while remaining committed to your family. We can love our families deeply without losing ourselves in the process. In fact, when we honour our own aspirations, we also inspire our children to do the same.
What are the biggest fears and societal expectations that prevent women from speaking up for themselves?
Many women are conditioned to be the “good girl”, someone who adjusts, agrees, avoids conflict, and keeps everyone happy. As a result, they fear being labelled selfish, disrespectful, or difficult when they express their needs.
However, being kind doesn’t mean being silent, and being respectful doesn’t mean compromising your self-respect. Women need to understand that they can honour others without abandoning themselves.
What practical steps can a woman take when she no longer knows who she is beyond being a wife, mother, or caregiver?
Begin by reconnecting with yourself. Ask what makes you happy, what you enjoyed before your responsibilities took over, and what dreams you’ve put aside. Journaling, exploring old interests, spending time with yourself, and speaking to someone you trust can help.
You can also seek guidance from a coach or mentor. You don’t need to figure out your entire identity at once; sometimes, you rediscover yourself by taking small steps towards what makes you feel alive.
What would you say to women who have been postponing their dreams, waiting for the “right time” to focus on themselves?
You don’t have to wait until all your responsibilities are over to start living your life. There will always be something that needs your attention. Your dreams and aspirations are not distractions from your responsibilities; they can bring renewed energy and enthusiasm into your life. Start small, give an hour to something you love, explore a new interest, or take the first step towards a long-held ambition. Your dreams deserve a place in your life today.
How do limiting beliefs and inner-child experiences influence a woman’s confidence, relationships, and professional growth?
Our childhood experiences can shape how we respond to the world as adults. For instance, someone who learnt that speaking up leads to conflict may struggle to express her needs or establish boundaries.
Similarly, the belief that love must be earned can lead to people-pleasing and self-doubt. Understanding these patterns helps us respond with greater awareness, develop self-compassion, and make choices that align with who we want to become.
Many people associate manifestation with positive thinking. What does manifestation mean to you, and why is inner work important?
For me, manifestation goes beyond positive thinking, affirmations, or visualisation. It involves understanding our beliefs, questioning our limitations, developing a clear intention, and taking aligned action.
Sometimes, we consciously desire something but unconsciously believe we don’t deserve it or cannot achieve it. Inner work helps us recognise these contradictions and become more intentional about our choices. Manifestation is about aligning our beliefs, intentions, and actions with the life we want to create.
What daily practices would you recommend to women who want to build self-worth and reconnect with themselves?
I recommend beginning with gratitude and self-reflection. Spend a few minutes each day acknowledging what you appreciate about your life, recognising your strengths, and celebrating small steps forward.
Journaling can help you understand your emotions and identify patterns that no longer serve you. Most importantly, make time for activities that bring you joy and practise expressing your needs without feeling guilty. Consistent, small steps can help you build a stronger relationship with yourself.
How do you define personal transformation beyond external success and achievements?
For me, transformation is about the person we become along the way. It means learning to speak our truth, pursue our dreams without guilt, establish healthy boundaries, and remain compassionate while standing up for ourselves.
External achievements matter, but so does our ability to experience success without losing humility, confidence without losing kindness, and ambition without compromising our values. True transformation begins when we stop abandoning ourselves to meet others’ expectations.
What is your vision for helping more women reclaim their identities and create fulfilling lives?
My vision is to help more women recognise that they are not limited to their circumstances or the roles they have been expected to play. Through my work as an Identity Coach, I want to empower women to reconnect with themselves, recognise their potential, and pursue lives that reflect their values and aspirations.
I want women to understand that they can love their families, fulfil their responsibilities, and still create space for their own dreams. Ultimately, I hope to inspire women to live with greater confidence, freedom, and self-respect.
What is the one message you would like to share with every woman who has spent years caring for others but has forgotten herself?
Your joy matters. Your choices matter. Your dreams matter. And most importantly, you matter.
You can be a wonderful wife, mother, daughter, or caregiver without giving up who you are. You can love deeply without losing yourself, be kind without compromising your self-respect, and pursue your dreams without feeling guilty.
Stop waiting for someone else to give you permission to live the life you desire. Reclaim your voice, honour your strengths, and make space for your aspirations. Your life is happening now, and you deserve to experience it fully.
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Note: If you have a similar story to share with our audience and would like to be featured on our online magazine, then please write to us at [email protected], we will review your story and extend an invitation to feature if it is worth publishing.
